We share the turbulent parts of our lives with you and we cope. Shiiiit, I COPE, because you’re always there.,lingering around goodbye letter to alcohol like a vampire expecting and invitation in. The fucking wild part is that you’re an element of me, You live in me.
It did raise some bitter feelings, but also made me think about these feelings. It lead to quite a lot of introspection on my part, an aspect of finding your own alcohol off switch that I truly believe helped me – in fact, the main catalyst for me stopping drinking. When you do write a goodbye letter to alcohol, actually ‘write a letter’ – in letter form. Using the basics of who you are writing to – so ‘dear alcohol’, or for me, simply ‘alcohol’ (I no longer hold it in ‘dear’ regard).
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When I was told by my therapist (she may be a counselor, I don’t really know) that this was the next thing I had to do while in treatment, I understood but I asked some questions. ‘How is the letter supposed to sound? She told me that I should just write it from the heart. I’m not certain what that meant, so I just decided to sit down in my room, put pen to paper, and just start writing. This has to be the most challenging letter I’ve ever written. It’s as if I’m breaking up with a long term partner.
Journaling and writing are helpful stress relievers and also a good way to manage anxiety. Alcohol and drug use increases stress, anxiety, and depression so this is a very helpful tool when you first get sober. What I always do because I am not a fabulous speaker, is write. We are all writers, so it might resonate even if you are gifted with verbal words.
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A friend that showed me a way to relax using my breath, not wine. A friend that showed me a way to deal with my emotions, not run away from them. A friend that told me I was strong, beautiful, powerful, and that I could be so much more than I was. You know the line, it’s not you, it’s me? All these years I thought it was us.
We did have some good times together; a lot of good times together, in fact. I actually just heard a guy in one of the Alcoholics Anonymous meetings they brought into the rehab say that alcohol was fun, then it was fun with problems, and then it was only problems. I related to that, especially the fun part. Because I had a lot of fun with drugs and alcohol for a long time. In high school and college, it was all fun.
